Kicking her out couldn't be farther from his mind. He almost protests when she takes her hand away, but feels ashamed for it -- that and he's grunting through the pain in his side. He reaches out for her, steadying himself, and feels foolish for thinking she was pulling away. Had she not just expressed she didn't want to be away from the Strahl? From him?
The thought makes him feel oddly ashamed, like he's being a fool for believing it. Couldn't have heard her right.
And as she starts to speak, his heart drops. He turns his face away, however briefly, so she won't see the shame and hurt there. Hasn't she already told him she doesn't really think that? And even if she does -- he knows he isn't going to push her away. That just doesn't make it hurt less that she thought him capable of that.
"You wouldn't be the first to think that," he says, as much for her as for him. "Piaget knows how to make people doubt themselves, see the worst in a situation, and my reputation doesn't help." A reputation Piaget had started. Maybe Aerith deserved to know that.
He grimaces as she helps steer him onto the bed. With her standing, she's taller than he is, and he wants to just put his hands on her hips and lean into her. Instead he balls his hands in his lap, trying to keep his voice even.
"Llogo was his informant; paid him off to tell him everything. I -- Piaget knows I've struggled romantically. We were close for a very long time. He sabotaged my reputation, convinced someone I cared about that I'd done some terrible things, started this reputation of mine, nearly compromised the Strahl. The man you were supposed to marry, they're old friends. I'd wondered, when I decided to intercept you, if the two of them were up to something, and then when nothing came -- I got complacent."
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Date: 2023-02-22 02:44 am (UTC)The thought makes him feel oddly ashamed, like he's being a fool for believing it. Couldn't have heard her right.
And as she starts to speak, his heart drops. He turns his face away, however briefly, so she won't see the shame and hurt there. Hasn't she already told him she doesn't really think that? And even if she does -- he knows he isn't going to push her away. That just doesn't make it hurt less that she thought him capable of that.
"You wouldn't be the first to think that," he says, as much for her as for him. "Piaget knows how to make people doubt themselves, see the worst in a situation, and my reputation doesn't help." A reputation Piaget had started. Maybe Aerith deserved to know that.
He grimaces as she helps steer him onto the bed. With her standing, she's taller than he is, and he wants to just put his hands on her hips and lean into her. Instead he balls his hands in his lap, trying to keep his voice even.
"Llogo was his informant; paid him off to tell him everything. I -- Piaget knows I've struggled romantically. We were close for a very long time. He sabotaged my reputation, convinced someone I cared about that I'd done some terrible things, started this reputation of mine, nearly compromised the Strahl. The man you were supposed to marry, they're old friends. I'd wondered, when I decided to intercept you, if the two of them were up to something, and then when nothing came -- I got complacent."
And distracted.